My mother and my son Alex sharing a moment

Gardening has been in my blood since the day I was born! Which is really no surprise considering that the ‘gardening legacy’ has been passed down in my family from generation to generation! We all seem to have had a love and passion for putting our hands the dirt, planting seeds and watching the fruits and vegetables grown and blossom as a result of our efforts!

My grandmother, Mama Lou, was the first in the family to truly
embrace the passion for ‘gardening’ that we all have shared. She graciously
passed this legacy on to my mother, Kitty Bess Wiss.

I so clearly remember my mother carefully planting and harvesting
in her garden every year. Once her garden treasures appeared, she would meticulously
start the process of freezing and canning! Our home was never without fresh
fruits and vegetables!  I will always remember the large crock of dill pickles that sat on the back porch.

It was a delicious way to grow up and it instilled in me (at a very young age) the power and magic of Mother Nature and the secrets of her garden.

My loving mother passed away this month on January 2nd at
the age of 95. As with most elderly people, she had slowed down a bit during the
last of years of her life, but she never tired or lost her enthusiasm
for gardening. In fact she was still canning green tomato relish last year! The
love of the garden was in her blood! And, proudly it is also in mine. For this
reason, I decided to combine my love of gardening with my passion for helping
others, especially children. I have so many fond memories of spending time with
my grandmother and mother in their gardens.These special memories are the inspiration for my pediatric mental health counseling practice, Becky’s Garden Therapy. I create
for children a safe, healing atmosphere where they can share their hurts, fears
and dreams.

I am a first-hand witness to the nurturing power of Mother Nature! Together we will plant seeds, pull weeds, pick flowers, harvest vegetables, and explore the mysteries and charms of our Earth.

I am proud to say that the legacy of gardening continues on in my family. My son, Alex, has a green thumb as well! It seems that I have passed some of our family’s gardening knowledge on to him, and I couldn’t be
happier that the legacy lives on. I also know that if there is a garden in
heaven, Mama Lou and my mother are up their canning peaches, making apple pies
and enjoying the serenity and peacefulness that only a garden can provide!

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt as though
you had no control over the outcome? A situation in which you had to rely
entirely on your inner faith that everything would turn out fine? If you are a
parent, I am sure you have experienced what I am talking about. As parents, we
want so much for our children: good health, happiness in relationships, success
in careers, and more. In our quest to help our children achieve this abundant
bounty of life we can sometimes ‘over-step’ our boundaries by trying too hard
to manipulate the master plan that Mother Nature and the universe has in store
for all of us.

Every parent wants the best for their children. That is a
normal function of parenting. However, the trick is learning how to
occasionally step away from the situation and allow nature to take its course.

Let me give you an example that relates to my garden and the
power of garden therapy and Mother Nature. About six months ago I planted some
sweet potatoes. There was a bare space of landscaping around my house, so a
child and I just plopped those little plants in the ground. Other than the
regular lawn irrigation, those little plants received no further care from
me!  Since this was my first experience growing sweet potatoes, I decided to let Mother Nature do her stuff.

A telephone repairman (closet gardener) told me a few months
ago that I would have between 60- pounds of sweet potatoes. I thought he had
lost his mind! He also said to dig them when the vines start dying.  Well, the other day I told my husband it was
time to reap the harvest! I came home to a kitchen counter lined with huge
sweet potatoes…and they are so good!! The telephone man was right…we have many,
many pounds of potatoes. What a gift!

Once I made the decision to have faith in the divine order
of the universe and allow the vegetables to follow their destined path, the
miracle of nature took over. Garden therapy has taught me to trust the process.
I know that nature will take is course with our children much the same way it
does with every living thing. There is a divine plan in place with the universe
and once we embrace this, we can relax, enjoy the process and the journey!

This has to be my most favorite time of year! The weather is
absolutely delightful. I find myself making up any excuse I can to spend MORE
time outside in my garden! Fall is officially here! Do you have any special
memories of this time of year? I certainly do. This season always takes me back
to my childhood! I grew up in Kahoka, Missouri – population 2,500! It was the
idyllic Norman Rockwell-esque small town America!   Neighbors knew their neighbors, children played outside until the sun went down, and there was a sense of true community and caring among everyone.

This time of year always conjures up fond memories of roaring
bonfires, festive hayrides, the rich smell of burning leaves, and of making
homemade popcorn balls and caramel apples for the annual Halloween trick-
or-treaters. Life was simple and easy them, and everything about this season
was celebrated!

But, there was also one very special way we could all tell
that fall had officially arrived in Kahoka, Missouri! My dear grandmother Mama
Lou would bake her first fresh apple cake of the season (and she always used REAL whipped cream).

The apples were crisp and tart and delicious! I have so many
wonderful memories of spending time with Mama Lou in the garden and in the
kitchen. My grandmother had a way of making everyone feel special and loved.
Spending time with her was therapeutic and soothing. She was an excellent
gardener and cook, but she was an even better listener! I can remember sitting
in the garden for hours, sharing my innermost thoughts and secrets with this
wonderful woman, who never ceased to amaze me.

It was those special memories of time spent with Mama Lou that were my inspiration for creating Becky’s Garden Therapy!

In honor of Mama Lou, I wanted to share with you her special recipe for that fabulous fresh
apple cake! I am certain she wouldn’t mind me sharing it with you. Mama Lou had
a way of bringing and sharing happiness and joy with everyone she encountered
in her life. Enjoy!

Here is the recipe.

Fresh Apple Cake

1 1/2 C flour

1/2 C Canola oil

1 egg, beaten

2 C chopped apples

1/2 C nuts

1/2 C coconut

1 C sugar

1 tsp soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla

Chop or grate apples and pour sugar over the apples. Let stand for 30 minutes.
Add oil and egg. Then add sifted dry ingredients. Add vanilla, nuts and
coconut. Bake in small pan  at 350 –375
degrees for about 25 minutes. Cut in squares and serve with whipped cream or
ice cream.

Delish!! Enjoy!

“Each flower is a soul opening out to nature.” – Gerald De Nerval

Children in therapy remind me of a rose bud. As the garden therapy progresses, the children slowly begin to open up. There is a certain freedom and liberation that comes with being in the garden that allows them to share with me what is going on in their world. It is like watching a flower bud open and bloom in all its glory and beauty. The garden is a perfect environment in which children can acquire confidence and self esteem.

The other day a precious child greeted me by proclaiming, “Okay, first I want to feed the fish, then we can go to the garden, then we can plant some seeds, and then I will color for you.” I was delighted! He was opening up and blossoming before my eyes!

Just as you can’t force a rose bud to open, you can’t press children to talk about their issues just because you are ready for them to. In a garden, you have to plant seeds, provide them with food and nourishment, protect them from the elements and have patience to allow them to grow and blossom in their own time. You can’t force Mother Nature and you can’t force children to share their thoughts and hearts.

In order for that to happen one must create a warm and nurturing and space where the children can slowly and safely blossom. In the past, I’ve had people ask me why I conducted my children’s therapy in a garden as opposed to an office. Well, I ask you….where would you feel more comfortable opening up and sharing your thoughts: 1) In a serene garden setting surrounded by the wonder of nature or 2) sitting in a big adult chair in a sterile office? Not too difficult to decide, is it?

Each flower is a soul opening to nature……and each child is a soul opening to the world. Let’s allow them both to bloom and grow in the garden at their own pace. The gift is worth the wait.

There is something special about the fall season that rejuvenates my soul. For those
of us who live in Florida, fall is a time when the ‘long dog days’ of summer
finally bid us farewell and we are greeted with the entrance of cooler weather,
which welcomes us like an old familiar friend. I delight in putting away my
summer wardrobe of tee shirts, shorts, and flip flops and replacing it with
sweaters, jeans, and leather boots!

Fall also means I it is time for me to plant my winter garden, and winter gardens in
Florida are my favorite! I will be planting all my favorite vegetables such as
turnip greens, collards, tomatoes, carrots, beets, radishes, beans, cucumbers,
potatoes, okra, cabbage, and peppers. I will also be sprinkling in some cooking
and medicinal herbs as well. I can already taste the flavorful soups, salads
and side dishes that I will be making in the coming months!

Fall is my time to personally slow down, reflect on the passing year, and start to
think about the new year that is quickly approaching. Just as the leaves on the
trees change with this beautiful season, I too take the time to reflect on the
various areas of my life and make whatever changes that I want to make.

I believe this is Mother Nature’s way of reminding us all that change is
inevitable in our lives. Sometimes these changes may be unexpected and perhaps
even unwelcome, but nonetheless, just as the seasons change, so do we. And, we
must embrace the beauty that comes about with these changes!

Regardless of whom we are or what we do, we are constantly changing and evolving in our
lives. This is how we grow and reach our true potential! Each day of our
journey on this planet is an adventure! We never know what the next season of
life will bring to us.

Can you imagine if there were no changes in the seasons? Or, if there were no
changes in our lives? Things would become pretty dull if we always knew what
was in store for us. So, this fall season, as I happily plant my winter garden,
watch the leaves change and welcome the cooler weather, I will remind myself
that life is about the journey, not the destination. And each season of the
year  brings about its own special journey! It’s time that we all learn to ‘enjoy the ride’.

Momma cat 'Miss Hattie'

The other day my son Alex came home and found quite a surprise waiting for him. Nestled
in the bushes behind his house was a cardboard box, and inside the box there
were 5 baby kittens and a momma cat snuggling together! The momma cat was not
much more than a kitten herself, but there she was doing the best that she
could on her own to take care of her new brood! She was dealing with life’s
unexpected twists!

Well, Alex called me immediately and we started to craft our plan to care for and find
homes for the momma and her babies!

My sister kindly volunteered to ‘foster’ the little kittens and momma cat while we search
for the right ‘forever’ homes for these precious kittens.

None of us were prepared to take on this new role of cat-whisperer, but when the unexpected
happens and life throws you a curve ball, you have to step up to the plate and
‘take care of business’.

Each of us really has two choices we can make when something unexpected happens in our
lives; we can either sit by and do nothing (just hoping the situation gets
resolved), or we can take control and make something positive out of the
experience.

Two of the 'babies'

People tend to handle unexpected events in their lives much the same way they see their
parents, mentors or those they most admire in their lives handle these types of
situations. We develop a certain type of ‘attitude’ in life when it comes to
handling the unexpected, and it’s all about attitude! When it comes down to it,
all we can really control are our thoughts, our actions, and our attitudes!

I believe that life is a serendipitous journey. The events that happen and unfold along
the way are all happening for a reason. When I view the universe in this way,
everything seems to make a lot more sense and I have an overall feeling of
calmness and serenity. No matter where I am or what I am facing, I know that
whatever is happening is exactly what is supposed
to be happening at that exact moment. And a lot of the things that happen
are quite unexpected! This is wonderful in my opinion! I can’t even imagine how
dreadfully dull life would get if there were no ‘unexpected’ moments.

I want my mommy!

It is in these unexpected moments that we get to experience our true strength and
purpose! When we think this way, we can free ourselves to live a life of
happiness and joy! We are living in the present! We can trust that no matter
what unexpected ‘curve ball’ is tossed our way; we will have what it takes to
step up and knock the ball out of the park!

By the way, if you (or someone you know) would like to have
a furry new addition to their family, please call me at 407-831-7783. Who
knows, one of these unexpected adorable balls of fur might be just the
unexpected thing that YOU need in your life! Go ahead, expect (and embrace) the
unexpected….you won’t be disappointed!

Will you take me home??

Photos courtesy of my dear friend and pet photographer,
Mitch O’Rear.  www.photo-jack.com

The eggplant is the last holdout in my garden, it just doesn’t seem to want to leave! The eggplant is a curious, unique and complex little fruit!

• 1/2 cup loosely packed fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
• 2 tablespoons drained capers
• 1 medium garlic clove, peeled and sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, preferably Sicilian
• 1/4 teaspoon minced peperoncini or red pepper flakes
• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 medium eggplant (3/4 pound), peeled and sliced about
  1/3″ thick
• 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

This weekend I am planting the seeds for my winter garden. There are so many wonderful
vegetables, herbs and flowers to choose from! But, with limited space in my garden,
I have some choices to make. I must prioritize and determine what I truly want
my garden to produce. Now, this is not an easy task for someone who looks at
life like a smorgasbord! Decisions, decisions!

This whole process reminds me of what it is like to be a parent and to raise your
children. As parents, we have choices and decisions to make that will shape and
mold the overall outcome of our children’s lives. Our very definition of success for our children varies, just as the vegetables and flowers in my garden do.

For some parents, success for their children could be defined by being an outstanding
scholar while for others success might mean that their child is a star athlete,
or an accomplished business person. Some define the success of their children
by the number of grandchildren they create! We all have our own definitions,
but it is important to remember that while these are our definitions success, they also have a life-long effect on our children.

I find myself reflecting on this as I re-plant my garden.  And, I have realized that regardless of the personal definition of
success I have for my garden, it still needs the same basic care, love nurturing and patience in order to grow and be healthy.

The actual cycle of raising a healthy, well balanced child and planting a robust and
fruitful garden are very similar. In the garden you must carefully select and
plant your young seedlings. And then you nourish and water them on a regular
basis. And finally, you try your hardest to protect them from the outside
elements that could harm or damage them during the critical growing process.

As parents we provide our young children with the basic necessities needed in life, such as
food, shelter and guidance. We tenderly hold their hands as they walk across
the street, we gently remind them to bundle up in the winter, and we try our
best to protect them from the harshness that the world can sometimes bring.

But, at some point, we must let go; hoping and praying that all the guidance and lessons we have provided will enable them to make wise choices in their lives, and to become a success regardless of our definition. This is nature’s way of softly letting us know when our job is complete.

We all have dreams and expectations for our children. We want them to do well in school, we
want them to be strong and healthy, but most of all, we want them to be happy
and blossom to their full ability. So, as you contemplate your definition of
success for your children, remember that the decisions you make will indelibly
impact their lives and they will eventually reap what you sow.

I have a confession to make; I have a passion for fried okra! I just love those crispy delicious little nuggets. Some of my fondest memories as a child are of spending hours in the kitchen with my grandmother and mother baking, frying and cooking! The smell of anything fried takes me back to those special days in the kitchen. And, as an adult I consider fried okra to be a necessary ‘comfort food’ for my soul and my stomach!
So, you can probably imagine my excitement when the okra in my garden became ripe for the picking! Time to make the fried okra!

Now, I know some of you who are reading this might be thinking “Becky, are you crazy? FRIED food is so bad for you!’ Well, yes and no. While I am certain my doctor would not recommend that I eat fried okra every day, I am also certain she would not take issue with my occasional indulgence for something that I truly adore. I call this practicing ‘self care’.

Practicing self care means taking care of ourselves and enjoying our lives! It means indulging in those simple things that bring us great pleasure (in moderation of course).

When we practice self care we are honoring and respecting our true self. We are acknowledging our right to happiness! If you want to truly see an example of self care, watch what happens when you give a child a cookie or an ice cream cone! Children have no problem expressing their happiness and joy. As adults we often get so caught up with the routine of life that we forget to allow ourselves these simple indulgences.

So, whatever it is that brings you pleasure, do it! Eat that extra piece of chocolate cake; take a long soothing bubble bath; or just curl up with a good romance novel and a hot cup of coffee and read the day away. Give yourself permission to practice self care. You are worth it!

Here is one of my favorite recipes for fried okra. Try it!

Fried Okra from Becky’s Garden:
1. Wash okra thoroughly and dry
2. Cut okra into 1 inch pieces
3. Dredge each piece in flour
4. Dip each piece in a mixture of beaten eggs and milk
5. Cover each piece of okra with breadcrumbs
Place okra on cookie sheet and refrigerate for approximately 1/2 hour. Remove okra from refrigerator and fry in canola oil.

Dipping Sauce
Harry and David Pepper and Onion Relish Cream Cheese Kicker
1. 8 0z. Cream cheese softened
2. 1/2 jar Hot and Smoky Pepper & Onion Relish
3. Mix relish & cream cheese until smooth

ENJOY!